FWIW, and not in the spirit of competition:

Though I am the son never wanted, and in fact was severely beaten regularly from my earliest memories (and my brother, by my father's own admission, never disciplined in any form until about age 20), I am now the caretaker for my 91-year old father.

As a result of always accepting my (perceived) responsibility, we do OK now. He even feels some degree of something that at times resembles respect for me. (The writing helps, and I keep him appraised of the news. Oddly, he's a huge liberal.)

I have long given up on any kind of explanation or apology for the many years of physical and emotional abuse. When I have tried I have received only blame. (Presumably for being a 3-year old deserving of a leather belt.)

I felt every word you wrote in an almost physical sense, and understand so much of the injustice you face. Yes, I am the black sheep, because someone must be. I accept that role, and just seek balance. (If that balance means "numbness", so be it. Works for me....)

Walter, may you find the peace you deserve. Sorry to whine, but I have so few opportunities.